Where's My Angel

I wanted to write one more time, but wanted to divide up my thoughts from school and work to more emotional things.

For a while now, I've been dealing with the fact that I'm probably at 100% fault for losing a friend. I think it comes from miscommunication and probably a part of selfishness on my part. However, one thing that I do think is that it can't be ALL up to me to keep this friendship from going down the toilet. I guess I'm feeling like when I try to explain how I feel about something, or a reason why I can't do something, there isn't an understanding there. So, I guess, sadly, I may have to hand over my friendship card.

On a more up beat note, I have an important person in my life. We've had some ups and downs lately, but we keep talking and hanging out and I'm really enjoying having him in my life. I also realized that I can't try to box in and define this experience - just enjoy the time we are spending together.

I guess the experience of losing a friendship and working on a new relationship, I've noticed the amount of effort I'm expending. It's not that I don't care about my friend or losing this friendship, I just don't understand why it has to all be up to me to make sure we iron out things. But in this other relationship, he and I are BOTH working at things. WE are communicating with one another and being honest. It is not a one sided affection or interest...I think that's the difference is the mutual interest in working on things.

More to come....